I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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