hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
