I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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