I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
