it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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