I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
