Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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