Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
