I puked a lego.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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