A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
