No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I think i got beer on your cat.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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