The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
