She said her name was "party"
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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