I want to stick my p in your. b.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
