NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
