My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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