I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
