I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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