Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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