girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
