I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
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i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
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Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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