Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
