Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I look better un-naked...
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
