I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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