Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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