Cold hands, warm shart.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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