just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
