Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
