Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
