is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
