Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
