I accidentally burped into my bong.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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