I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
