my text book just quoted the cookie monster
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
