I seem to have left my pride at pride
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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