The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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