Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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