He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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