apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
