the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
His nipple licking is glorious
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