Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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