Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
