Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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