are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
