like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize