Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
