I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
