i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize