I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I want her autograph on my taint
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
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Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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