Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
