I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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