At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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