Rock
Scissors
Fuck
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
