I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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