What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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