just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
