It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
