Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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