butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
