My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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