It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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