Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
