You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
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