Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
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Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
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