Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
