I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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