my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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