Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I have so many feelings about this burrito
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize