New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Randomize
