I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
